In These Shattered Days
by KoriKami
Summary: *Yaoi alert* When Hikaru is diagnosted with a rare disease, he is only given one week to live, but with the thought of losing Hikaru in his heart, Kaoru writes down everything to savor the sweet memories.
1. The Life Being Taken

We were home again, and when we walked inside, Hikaru looked up at me with sad eyes, making me want to scream.

"What are we gonna do, Kaoru?"

I smiled weakly, this was busting my heart open wide. "Whatever...you want..."

He walked over and brushed the hair from my eyes, kissing me softly on the lips. "Hikaru..."

Why does this have to happen to Hikaru? Why couldn't it happen to...anyone else?

He supported my chin with stable hands and looked into my eyes through his lashes. "I feel fine an-"

"But you're NOT fine, Hikaru...!" My hand clenched on his shoulder, my knuckles white. It hurt, but my heart hurt more. "Hikaru...I love you..."

He placed his other hand on the one on my shoulder and stroked it, relaxing me. He took his hand off my chin and his grip tightened on mine. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks and dropped onto the tile floor off my chin.

He led me to our bedroom where we sat on the bed for several awkward and silent minutes, when I felt his arms wrap around me. "I know it hurts, Kaoru..." More tears streamed down my face as I thought of losing him with no way to bring him back...

"But I'm here, Kaoru...I'm here with you. I always will be..." And a tear fell on my shoulder that was not mine.


	2. As If It's Alright

Hikaru at first seemed to sleep all night. I moved around the room, finding different things to do. I was tired as hell from everything, and wanted to wake up as if it was all a sick and cruel dream, but I knew I had to spend all of the week with my Hikaru.

So I ended up laying in bed next to him, his warm breath rocking me to sleep as I stroked his cheek, aware that he was awake. He groaned under my touch and I watched him fall asleep with troubled eyes.

It was taking my Hikaru slowly. He tossed and turned all night until I layed his arm across his chest and he woke up with wild eyes. "K-Kaoru...god...my dream..." I sighed.

"Tell me."

His eyes scanned my face and a tear rolled down his cheek as he buried his face into the sheets. "It was you..."

I closed my eyes and when I opened them he was sitting upright, his face and chest turned blue from the moonlight coming through the window. I sat up and met his eyes, pleading for a longer life. I would've given it to him if I could.

He moved closer to me, shaking the bed, and for a split second I wanted to take my own life just to meet him at the golden gates...

He wrapped his arms around me and dug his face into my chest. "Kaoru...I'm not going to leave you..." My arms went limp as I wished it were true, and I realized how long the days would pass without him with me...

...Hikaru was dying and I had no say in it whatsoever.


	3. These Long Nights

I woke up with a start, my nerves shot with electricity. Hikaru...

I turned over and he was sitting on the edge of the bed with his back facing me, the sunlight casting his shadow on the wall. I sighed. One day done...

He turned around and smiled, and for a second...he seemed...happy. "Kaoru, what are we going to do today...?"

I groaned. "Hungry..." He jumped up and fixed my breakfast while I sat frozen on my bed wondering why he was so happy. You're dying, Hikaru...don't ever leave me...

His head popped through the door, and he smiled like he always does when we prank Tamaki..."Breakfast is ready!" He bolted out, apparently more starving than I was.

But when I thought of him going, I didn't really feel like eating. I got dressed and went into the dining room, just planning to eat to please him.

I looked at the bowls of cheap cereal in front of me and looked up at Hikaru. He shrugged and opened the bare cabinets. "I'm limited on cooking supplies."

I started laughing and he joined in, and for a fraction of a second it all felt...normal. He sat down across from me and started chowing down, when he looked up at me, sitting still with untouched food. "You...don't have to eat that..."

My head was down and I felt useless. Hikaru was leaving me...my love...my brother...my life...

It was one of those moments when you finally realize how bad a situation was but...

...I didn't think I could handle it. I was ruining one of our last days...

Our last days before...he walked over and sat on the floor next to me, already done with his food. He put his hand and the top of my head and leaned my head on his shoulder...though I wanted more from him...

I looked up at him and he kissed me, licking my teeth as I sat frozen in our dining room. He let go when he realized that I needed more than a kiss. His head went down and he groaned.

I leaned down to get a look at his face.

"Hikaru...!"

He was shaking all over, I was frozen. _Get up and do something!!!_ I ran and got my cell phone, dialing Kyouya on my speed dial while I tipped Hikaru back in my arms, tears streaming down my cheeks, I didn't care.

I wasn't going to let him leave me now...!

"This is Kyouya."

"Kyouya!!! Hikaru...he's...I'm calling emergency get everyone to the nearest hospital an-"

"I'll call them all right away. Is he breathing...?"

I looked down at his face, his chest was heaving and his face was frozen in a state of shock. "HIKARU!!!"

"KAORU! Answer me, whats going ON?"

"He's shaking and he's hyperventilating an-"

"Call emergency now, Kaoru."

I nodded and dialed emergency as Hikaru shook violently in my arms.


	4. In The Mornings

I woke up with a start, my nerves shot with electricity. Hikaru...

I turned over and he was sitting on the edge of the bed with his back facing me, the sunlight casting his shadow on the wall. I sighed. One day done...

He turned around and smiled, and for a second...he seemed...happy. "Kaoru, what are we going to do today...?"

I groaned. "Hungry..." He jumped up and fixed my breakfast while I sat frozen on my bed wondering why he was so happy. You're dying, Hikaru...don't ever leave me...

His head popped through the door, and he smiled like he always does when we prank Tamaki..."Breakfast is ready!" He bolted out, apparently more starving than I was.

But when I thought of him going, I didn't really feel like eating. I got dressed and went into the dining room, just planning to eat to please him.

I looked at the bowls of cheap cereal in front of me and looked up at Hikaru. He shrugged and opened the bare cabinets. "I'm limited on cooking supplies."

I started laughing and he joined in, and for a fraction of a second it all felt...normal. He sat down across from me and started chowing down, when he looked up at me, sitting still with untouched food. "You...don't have to eat that..."

My head was down and I felt useless. Hikaru was leaving me...my love...my brother...my life...

It was one of those moments when you finally realize how bad a situation was but...

...I didn't think I could handle it. I was ruining one of our last days...

Our last days before...he walked over and sat on the floor next to me, already done with his food. He put his hand and the top of my head and leaned my head on his shoulder...though I wanted more from him...

I looked up at him and he kissed me, licking my teeth as I sat frozen in our dining room. He let go when he realized that I needed more than a kiss. His head went down and he groaned.

I leaned down to get a look at his face.

"Hikaru...!"

He was shaking all over, I was frozen. _Get up and do something!!!_ I ran and got my cell phone, dialing Kyouya on my speed dial while I tipped Hikaru back in my arms, tears streaming down my cheeks, I didn't care.

I wasn't going to let him leave me now...!

"This is Kyouya."

"Kyouya!!! Hikaru...he's...I'm calling emergency get everyone to the nearest hospital an-"

"I'll call them all right away. Is he breathing...?"

I looked down at his face, his chest was heaving and his face was frozen in a state of shock. "HIKARU!!!"

"KAORU! Answer me, whats going ON?"

"He's shaking and he's hyperventilating an-"

"Call emergency now, Kaoru."

I nodded and dialed emergency as Hikaru shook violently in my arms.


	5. The Humans and Their Hearts

I walked slowly through the door, not knowing what to find, and I nearly collapsed at the sight of my brother. He was pale and looked cold, several IVs taped together in his veins.

The nurse looked up after she made sure they were secure, glanced back at him, and left in a hurry. I grabbed her arm and spun her around...afraid to know what would happen next...but of course, I had to ask.

She was a step ahead of me, of course, making it worse.

"Hikaru...is doing worse than we thought and we're not sure-"

"How long.....?"

The blood drained from her face and my grip loosened on her arm, I almost wanted to shove her out the door. But I had to know about my love...

She hesitated. "He'll be lucky...to last another day...I'm sorry..."

She was clearly emotional as a tear rolled down her cheek from looking at my face, which was most likely a sickening sight.

Bags of liquids...and blood...were hanging around him, connected to his veins, and machines were placed around him in the sickingly white room. His face was literally white, and I collapsed to the floor by his side, I wanted to take his hand, but I didn't know what that might do...

I was at a complete loss for words. "Hi-Hikaru...? I...don't know if you can hear me...and even if you can't...I love you Hikaru...! I can't live without you, this is...I just...I love you..."

I stood and leaned over, placed my hand on the bed, and kissed him on the lips softly, fantasizing of his heart sputtering back to life, unlike it's slow putters I could hear from the moniter beside us.

_He can't feel it...he can't feel it...Hikaru...I hope you can't hear me cry..._

I collapsed, again, and out of the corner of my eye and through my tears I could see Haruhi's face peering in horror at us through the door window. Her hands covered her face and she ran off, obviously to tell the others.

They were so comforting...but I just wanted it to be me and my love...

"Don't leave me...not now..."


	6. Shattered Heart

I walked slowly through the door, not knowing what to find, and I nearly collapsed at the sight of my brother. He was pale and looked cold, several IVs taped together in his veins.

The nurse looked up after she made sure they were secure, glanced back at him, and left in a hurry. I grabbed her arm and spun her around...afraid to know what would happen next...but of course, I had to ask.

She was a step ahead of me, of course, making it worse.

"Hikaru...is doing worse than we thought and we're not sure-"

"How long.....?"

The blood drained from her face and my grip loosened on her arm, I almost wanted to shove her out the door. But I had to know about my love...

She hesitated. "He'll be lucky...to last another day...I'm sorry..."

She was clearly emotional as a tear rolled down her cheek from looking at my face, which was most likely a sickening sight.

Bags of liquids...and blood...were hanging around him, connected to his veins, and machines were placed around him in the sickingly white room. His face was literally white, and I collapsed to the floor by his side, I wanted to take his hand, but I didn't know what that might do...

I was at a complete loss for words. "Hi-Hikaru...? I...don't know if you can hear me...and even if you can't...I love you Hikaru...! I can't live without you, this is...I just...I love you..."

I stood and leaned over, placed my hand on the bed, and kissed him on the lips softly, fantasizing of his heart sputtering back to life, unlike it's slow putters I could hear from the moniter beside us.

_He can't feel it...he can't feel it...Hikaru...I hope you can't hear me cry..._

I collapsed, again, and out of the corner of my eye and through my tears I could see Haruhi's face peering in horror at us through the door window. Her hands covered her face and she ran off, obviously to tell the others.

They were so comforting...but I just wanted it to be me and my love...

"Don't leave me...not now..."


	7. The Angel

"Hikaru...Tamaki gave me a present for our birthday today...do you know what it was...?"

I sat on my bed listening to nothing. I held out the silver frame, a clear picture inside of me and my friend.

"It's me and Tamaki...isn't it a good picture...?"

I held it to my chest as he filled my head with memories of the countless pranks we played on him before.

"Hikaru! You know I like him now!"

I sighed. "I can't believe I do though..."

I smiled towards the spot where he would be laying and laughed. "Isn't it funny? Man, we hated him...didn't we...Hikaru...?"

_We..._

I was done talking to him...

And, as I did every night, I told him that I loved him, and I felt him close to me.

I reached out and my hand was hot. He was there.

Of course he was.

And I let a tear slip so that I could feel his lips against mine until tomorrow....

A lot of things had changed, and Hikaru left us silently, shattering our hearts and ripping my soul.

But I held my promise close and acted as though it never happened, and the entire Academy followed in respect.

But, of course, we could never forget him...

...My brother...my love...my life...

My seperate soul.

**...the end...**


	8. Never Leaving

"Hikaru...Tamaki gave me a present for our birthday today...do you know what it was...?"

I sat on my bed listening to nothing. I held out the silver frame, a clear picture inside of me and my friend.

"It's me and Tamaki...isn't it a good picture...?"

I held it to my chest as he filled my head with memories of the countless pranks we played on him before.

"Hikaru! You know I like him now!"

I sighed. "I can't believe I do though..."

I smiled towards the spot where he would be laying and laughed. "Isn't it funny? Man, we hated him...didn't we...Hikaru...?"

_We..._

I was done talking to him...

And, as I did every night, I told him that I loved him, and I felt him close to me.

I reached out and my hand was hot. He was there.

Of course he was.

And I let a tear slip so that I could feel his lips against mine until tomorrow....

A lot of things had changed, and Hikaru left us silently, shattering our hearts and ripping my soul.

But I held my promise close and acted as though it never happened, and the entire Academy followed in respect.

But, of course, we could never forget him...

...My brother...my love...my life...

My seperate soul.

**...the end...**


End file.
